Radiant Orchid, Leopard, and Saying No
My whole life, I have had the hardest time with saying no or disagreeing with anyone - to their face, that is. I have NO problem disagreeing with or wanting to say no to someone behind their back, but actually getting the words out to someone in real life is such a difficulty. I do say no to my kids, and to my husband, but almost no one else gets a committed 'NO' in real life. I just push off the conversation or never get around to it. It's not that my heart's not in the "no"- I literally don't know how to deliver the message. And it burns a lot of bridges for me.
When I was in college, I had such a problem with not being able to tell guys that I wasn't interested in dating them. If I got asked out I would say yes, and then if they asked me out again, I'd say yes again. Eventually, they thought we were a thing, and I ended up literally breaking hearts rather than merely disappointing them from the get go. I don't say that to brag at all, but it's a good example, and it happens everywhere else in my life too. I just don't know how to decline an opportunity, so I often put if off until that bridge has been burned. I know it makes me look so much worse than if I had just said no from the start, but I don't know how! Blogging and starting a business has brought so many great (and some not-so-great) opportunities to my door, and I don't think I've gotten much better at dealing with the situations where I want to say no. My best help so far has been asking Soren to help me reply - and he is great - but I think I need to figure this out.
Do you have a hard time saying no too? How do you say no?
PS - These Black Cut Out Leather earrings are coming this week! New earring and cuff styles will be in the shop on Friday!
// Outfit Details //
Tee - GAP
Pants - TJ Maxx (similar)
Shoes - Groop Dealz c/o
Bag - Thrifted (handmade)
Earrings - Nickel & Suede
Love this outfit! Wanted to pin it to my fashion board on pinterest, but it doesn't look like you've made it "pinnable"?
ReplyDeleteDarn! It might be the URL masking! I've pinned it on my board so at least repin it from
DeleteI so understand about saying no! Your story sounds just like me. I cannot figure out why its so hard for me. I guess I'm a pleaser and hate disappointing people. I usually have my hubby do it if at all possible! Lol!
ReplyDeleteI can't say no. ever. haha! love this outfit, and that purse it to-die-for....thrifted? love it! I am a new fan of your jewelry...can't wait to receive my order and see what's new in your shop!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I know you'll love them!
DeleteI get a daily devotion in my in-box each morning (proverbs31.org), and the main writer who I love -- Lysa TerKeurst -- just came out with a new book called "The Best Yes". I can tell from the samplings that are occasionally part of the daily devotional that I need to go buy this book bc it's all about saying no! This morning's devotional was actually 5 ways to evaluate if you should say no or not....ironic! On a lighter note, love this outfit and all your fun fashion tips!!
ReplyDeleteYou are pretty much describing me to a T!! I have a very hard time saying no and it causes me a lot of unnessacery stress. It's something I am working on..
ReplyDeleteI have the opposite problem-- I think I say "no" too much. I do adore this outfit on you-- the colors are perfect, and you look stunning!
ReplyDeleteYou always hit the nail right on the head- in your posts and your outfits! I'm really digging the ponte pants as a more "adult" legging alternative.
ReplyDeleteWhitney
Thank you! And yes I wear the ponte pants as a legging alternative all Fall and Winter long!
DeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI read your blog regularly,but I din't leave a comment,yet...I even have my haircut similar as yours,because I found your hairstyle,your blog and showed it to my hairdresser.
It is hard to say no,easier to walk away,but I learn to say no in a kind way...Kind but a BIG NO. So they know it is a real no and no discussion about it.Very rarely I do that,and it is new to me.
Greetings.:)
P.S.: I love to read your blog and watch your outfit.It inspires me.
I have the same problem, too, especially with dating! Or turning down friend's request to get together, if you'd rather just be home, etc.
ReplyDeleteSo much easier via email/text than face to face, but I should get work on getting better at that, too.